Roger Ebert has a very thoughtful and insightful column in which he reflects on the power and meaning of the choices film characters make, and also takes to task critics who spoil film endings in order to grind their own ideological axes. (Why am I not surprised to find Rush Limbaugh and Michael Medved in that number?) The case in point is the recent film Million Dollar Baby. I loved the movie and wanted to say something about it, but have been holding off until it finishes its theater run precisely to avoid spoiling it for anyone. (It is well-known that the movie has a plot twist partway through.) Those who find themselves offended by the way other people live their lives - as exemplified in this movie - couldn’t be bothered to show the same courtesy.

However, the article got me to thinking about movie spoilers in general. I like twist endings. I also remember being angry when someone spoiled Citizen Kane for me - even though the movie was then at least 40 years old, I (as a teenager) still hadn’t seen it. Nonetheless, we have to be able to talk about movies to appreciate them fully, and at some point it seems the surprises are fair game. With that in mind, I began running down a mental list of “twist-ending” movies, and it occurred to me to see if others had the same list. Herewith, then - and at your own risk! - the first-ever . . .

MOVIE SPOILER JEOPARDY CONTEST

Below is a list of spoilers for movies with surprise-twist endings. Your task is to ask, for each spoiler, a Jeopardy-style question to which that spoiler is the answer. (Number the questions to correspond to the numbers of the spoilers in the list.)

(Example: Spoiler: “His sled.” Question: “In Citizen Kane, the main character’s dying words - ‘Rosebud . . . Rosebud’ - refer to what?”)

DO NOT POST THE QUESTIONS here. E-mail them to: ktk@leanleft.com Please be sure to put “SPOILER” in the subject line. I will collect the answers as they come in. The contest will run for two weeks from today - i.e., until the 21st of February, 2005. The best, worst, or funniest answers will be posted at that time.

Prizes Galore!: The most-correct list of questions will win the choice of: Roger Ebert’s Movie Yearbook 2005, Leonard Maltin’s Movie Guide 2005, or The DVD & Video Guide 2005 by Martin & Porter. Second-most correct wins choice of the remaining two, and the funniest wrong answers win the remaining volume. If two or more people submit equally-correct lists, the first and second to be received will be declared winners.

Clarifications!: I’m a movie buff but not a big movie-trivia expert. The spoilers below are all taken from movies reasonably widely released in America in recent decades, or that are well-known. (No neo-realist nouvelle vague cinema verite’ dogma kabuki bullshit that played in only one art theater in Greenwich Village for three days in 1969.) If you think your question might be off-base because it’s too obscure, it probably is. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t included a lot of the classics. None of the movies are duplicated - there are 20 distinct films represented below. They are not in chronological order. “Spoilers” is to be understood as plot elements that were true all along but are not apparent to the audience until they are revealed, usually near the end of the film, as a surprise that dramatically changes the audience’s understanding of the film; they are not simply things that are not known to the characters in the film, or surprising things that happen in the film. I have tried to avoid “mystery” plots or “con-game” plots, because the whole point of the movie is the surprise. But (hint) there may be some crime-investigation-type plots below.

Fine Print!: The spoilers below are intentionally somewhat vague. Also, moviemakers tend to use the same old tricks over and over. If it happens that more than one plausible movie fits one of the spoilers below, all reasonable questions will be counted correct. In the case of disputes or uncertainties, the opinion of my high-strung ex-actor movie-fanatic friend will be taken as authoritative. All decisions are final. Contents may have settled during shipment. And now . . . Let the games begin!

SPOILERS

  1. His father.
  2. His mother.
  3. His mother.
  4. Her penis.
  5. Her penis.
  6. Her psycho ex-boyfriend.
  7. He’s already dead.
  8. He’s already dead.
  9. He’s not really dead.
  10. They’re already dead.
  11. There are no monsters.
  12. He is the mastermind.
  13. The mastermind is him.
  14. The “good” personality is the fake one.
  15. The dead man is the hero.
  16. He really never left Earth.
  17. They really never left Earth.
  18. The rabbit is not from Earth.
  19. He’s solved the crime before.
  20. It’s the wrong bird.

[Hat tip: Joe Carter.]