Chuck Norris
Jan 9
I don’t know why this is funny, it just is. ![]()
Jan 9
Posted by tgirsch in Humor, I do too have a life
I don’t know why this is funny, it just is. ![]()
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#1 by Stormy Dragon at January 9th, 2006
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More Chuck Norris facts:
1. Chuck Norris is like a tsunami; if you see him coming, it’s already too late.
2. There’s no such thing as evolution; there is merely a list of animals that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
3. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.
4. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
5. Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon.
6. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
7. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
8. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
9. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
10. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could transform into a pick-up truck. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided into two.
#2 by SEB at May 3rd, 2006
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Chuck Norris is fluent in 28 languages, but he only comunicates with ‘Pain’!