The Worst Christmas Songs Ever
by tgirschNovember 27th, 2006
UPDATED: A new number five, and a new dishonorable mention.
UPDATE 2: How could I forget Babs? She makes the bottom five, relegating Here Comes Santa Claus to the dishonorable mentions. See her entry for a “bonus” surprise.
UPDATE 3: It’s that time of year again, so I’ve dusted this off from last year.
It’s that time of year, when radio stations switch to all Christmas music all the time (actually, around here, that happened two weeks before Thanksgiving). What better time to count down the worst Christmas songs of all time? I’m giving my “bottom five,” along with a couple of honorable mentions. Most are version specific, but some transcend versions and are awful no matter who sings them. As commenters remind me of other awful songs, I reserve the right to modify the list.
Here we go:
(DIS)HONORABLE MENTIONS:
- Santa Baby by Everclear: Sorry, but a guy should never, ever sing this song. I don’t care if he’s gay or not (and I don’t think the dude from Everclear is, but I could be wrong), it’s just wrong to hear a guy sing it.
- A Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney: The song’s actually not all that bad, as pop-star Christmas songs go, but years working in retail scarred me.
- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, any version: With a title like that, don’t you think the could have at least tried to make the song merry? Instead, we get a depressing dirge. Kevin says this was a World War II era song, and because the boys were overseas, the melancholy tone was intentional. But then why say “merry” at all? Isn’t melancholy what I’ll Be Home For Christmas is for?
- The Christmas Song, any version not sung by Nat King Cole: In large part because I’m a huge fan of the Cole version, the others are just wrong to me. And as a side note, how is it possible to have such a smooth voice when you smoke eight packs of cigarettes a day?
- Here Comes Santa Claus, verses 3 and 4: I don’t mind Christian Christmas songs (in fact, I like many), and I don’t mind secular songs, but when somebody bastardizes the two, and does it poorly, as in those last two verses, it’s just like a train wreck. Piecing together:
Santa knows we’re all God’s children
That makes everything right
So let’s give thanks to the Lord above
‘Cause Santa Claus comes tonightThat’s right kids! Give thanks to the Lord, not because the messiah’s born or because our eternal salvation has been enabled, but because a fat guy’s going to bring you wooden toys! Lovely message for the little ones.
THE BOTTOM FIVE:
5. Carol of the Bells, by The Trans-Siberian Orchestra: How could I forget this? Talk about something that just screams “we’re trying to be cool!” Admit it guys, you’re Savatage on steroids. I vaguely remember thinking this was cool at one time, but can’t for the life of me remember why. I just wish Metallica’s S&M had done a better job permanently destroying the idea that mixing symphony with heavy metal is ever a good idea…
4. Jingle Bells by Barbara Streisand: Egad, I had repressed all memories of this until a commenter reminded me of it! And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, prepare your psyche for torture and click here.
3. Winter Wonderland by Annie Lennox: I actually generally like Annie Lennox, but this song is an affront. This is generally one of the happier Christmas songs, but when Annie Lennox sings it, it kind of makes you want to consider suicide.
2. Santa Claus is Comin to Town, by Bruce Springsteen: This version of the song is quite awful to begin with, and by itself is all the reason you need to hate New Jersey (before Bon Jovi ever even came along), but having worked and retail and heard it every frickin’ hour six frickin’ weeks a year is enough to drive a man crazy. I used to say that nothing could be worse than this, until I heard:
THE WORST CHRISTMAS SONG OF ALL TIME:
1. The Christmas Shoes by NewSong: Egad, what a heavy-handed, depressing piece of shlock this is. If you haven’t heard it, it’s a song about a boy who’s scraping together money to buy a pretty pair of shoes for his mom, who’s dying. He wants to buy them because “I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight.” Oy. The only way to make the song even remotely tolerable is to do something Kevin found Googling up the song: Imagine the kid is a grifter, his mom is waiting in the car, and they’ve been pulling this scam at every store in town, with plans to return the shoes for cash two days after Christmas.
So that’s my list. Now, on with the feeback!
Categories: Holiday |
If we’re dinging heavy-handed shlock, don’t forget Do They Know It’s Christmas?, sung in that uber-annoying ‘roomful of random pop-musicians singing together for charity’ style.
So, perhaps you two “grinches” should talk. I like all of these songs. But, yes, hearing “Santa Baby” sung by a guy is a bit much even for me… I love Christmas songs in general. Ho Ho Ho.
“Christmas Shoes” makes me want to scream and commit acts of mayhem on the writer and singer.
There are certainly some songs that would fall under the category of “Cute but Quirky;” e.g., “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.”
For my money, though, one of the more tasteless ones is the Berle Ives hit, “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas.” We were all doing so well before that one came along.
The Worst Holiday Songs Ever
Tgirsch over at Lean Left has posted his personal list of the worst christmas songs ever. Normally, I’d stay away from the subject, because most of the songs don’t bother me, and because I think the idea of a guy singing “Santa Baby…
“Santa Claus is Switchin’ to iTunes…”
My (usually) preferred radio station has now played Bruce Springsteen’s “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” (at least) three times in the past twelve hours, further catalyzing my downward December spiral from “curm…
Can’t agree with out about “Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. Yeah, the song is sad, but I’ve had several sad Christmas times, so I like it. But I hate it when they try to turn it into a happy tune. It’s supposed to be sad. The singer isn’t going to have a merry christmas and is just making the best of things and hoping for better times next year.
I’m from Jersey, so I HAVE to like anything by Springsteen (I think it’s a law, or just in our in-breeding).
A little too much “bah, humbug!” in this for me. There certainly are some awful Christmas songs around, but I have to admit I think “I got tired of hearing them” is hardly a valid criterion.
As for “Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” I like it - perhaps because I never thought of it as sad but as hopeful, like “okay, it’s been crappy but we’re together again and it’s gonna be better from here on out.”
On the other hand, yeah, the song about the shoes really is bad. Very bad.
High (or low, if that’s more accurate) on my list would be Johnny Cash’s version of “Little Drummer Boy.” In fact, almost any version of that song since the Harry Simeone Chorale one could make my list.
Julia:
Oh, when they try to actually make “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” merry, it’s even worse. But it shouldn’t have the word Merry in the title at all, IMO.
LarryE:
The Springsteen song was awful before I got tired of it. Repeated airplay merely moved it further up (down?) the list.
hey! I kind of like the bruce springsteen version! hah.
For my money, “Jingle Bells” by Barbara Streisand,
no question about it.
Jay’s right - Babs sounded like she was in a manic phase when she recorded it.
YES! Christmas Shoes is the worst Christmas song EVER…
This horribly contrived song is the very reason I googled “worst Christmas song ever” - just to see if someone put together a site to express the same feelings of this song that I have. Those feelings are best summed up by loud vomiting noises…YACK!
Christmas shoes is terrible. I kind of use it as a measuring stick to determine someone’s IQ.
None of you people seem to have any feelings or christmas spirit! The Christmas Shoe is very sad, but unfortunetly true in a lot of families! Just because you probably wouldn’t do it for your mother doesn’t mean there aren’t good people out there that would! You all are very cold hearted! How sad for you!!!!
Nice list. Christmas Shoes gets played in my house at least once every Xmas for the amusement factor. Cheesier than this, you cannot get.
um….honestly? I have to agree with the whole bit about “The Christmas Shoes”. I mean, it’s about the most corniest, annoying, song I think I have ever heard…okay, maybe not the MOST but its in my top 20. I just recently heard it and it made me want to throw up it was so, so, I have no words for it. On the other hand, I personally like “A Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney…but then, I like most Beatles songs so whatever.
—Merry Christmas!
Any worst Christmas song list that doesent include Bryan Adams’s “Reggae Christmas” is incomplete.
NewSong has another Christmas song out this year entitled Christmas Carol. All of you who hate Christmas Shoes will hate this one also. But for me, I cry every time I hear it because it reminds me of my mother who died of Alzheimers. You see, Christmas Carol is about an old woman with Alzheimer’s, whose memory goes, but yet for some reason, can still sing her Christmas carols. Sure, songs like this are sad, but it’s a good sad, just like Christmas Shoes. And believe it or not, I have a rather high IQ, so Bill, sorry if I mess up your measuring stick. I think you people who don’t like this songs need a heart and a soul and a little human compassion. Merry Christmas to you all.
omg i can not believe that you are saying that the worst christmas song ever is christmas shoes- i love that song, it makes me want to cry! i love that song.
Thank goodness! Just like Patrick M, I too specifically Googled “worst christmas songs” in order to verify that I’m not just a Grinch, and that indeed, the songs that irritate me(particularly Christmas Shoes) also have this affect on others, who are not necessarily hostile to all things Christian and/or Christmas.
I think your list is basically right on target, though I don’t entirely hate the Paul McCartney song.
I truly hate “Christmas Shoes” for the obvious intention of the writer and singer, which is to manipulate me emotionally. I shutter to think that some theologically liberal churches actually include this in their “worship” services. Oh God help me … and as He is my Witness, the song JUST NOW CAME ON THE RADIO!! I can feel my skin crawl …. ohhhhh please help meeeeeee!
But if you will permit me, I’ll rant on some other “holiday” songs I find repulsive. Next to the top is the “feed the world” song, and then John and Yoko’s “Happy X-Mas (War is Over)”, then Stevie Wonder’s “Some Day At Christmas” — just another jerk thinking that Christmastime is an opportunity to promote his favourite socio-politcal pity party.
In the words of the wise Solomon, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” People live, die, suffer etc., everyday, but just as you don’t walk up to a bride on her wedding day and start ranting about the plight of slave labour in China, it is inappropriate to bring up suffering and death on the day celebrating the birth of Christ.
Thanks for noticing the stupid, semi-Pelagian line from “Here Comes Santa Claus”.
Oh! Oh! I just remembered another one … the Emerson, Lake & Palmer song about believing in Father Christmas, or whatever.
I don’t know what is wrong with our society that “Christmas Shoes” is labeled one of the worst christmas songs ever. This song is the BEST christmas song. It speaks to the sacrifice that a child makes in order to make it mother smile before she dies. There are lots of people suffering during the holidays and more of us should try to be kind and go out of our way for others.
Perhaps it has something to do with dragging layers and layers of expression over a holiday, which has well lost it’s meaning, to me at least. That’s why I believe Christmas Shoes is universally hated, and for similar reasons the Carol of the Bells.
A lot of people might disagree with me on this, but I thing Sting’s Angel Gabriel fits this profile. No sir, I don’t like it.
The Christmas Shoe is far the most saddiest song I have ever heard. It brought tears to my eyes. It touched my heart… If a song can touch your heart and move you to tears, it is wonderfully written and therefore, those it does not move, must be a cold hearted person.
“The Christmas Shoes” is indeed a most laughable,
insufferable piece of dribble, but it does work as comedy. It makes all my friends laugh when subjected to it. Paul Mccartney is a close second. Paul really is dead. Hard to believe that came out of the same brain as “Eleanor Rigby”. Go figure. I beg to differ on John and Yoko’s, though. It give me goosebumps. Best x-mas pop song? Darlene Love’s “Baby Please come home” from the Phil Spector Cd. a Masterpiece.
I agree on someof your choices for worst songs, however, I have to disagree on the song Christmas Shoes. For those of us who lost their mothers on Christmas day, the song brings back memories, be them good or bad and allows us to remember our wonderful mothers. Perhaps if you were in the little boys shoes (or anyone who has lost their mother on or around a holiday, you would understand the songs and perhaps appreciate it.
I am glad my ears have never suffered through most of those songs. although “christmas shoes” was horrible whining. And for that person that said “i don’t what is wrong with our society” needs a reality check - whats f$#kn right with it? Build a bridge and get over it. nuff said.
You guys are heartless, the Christmas shoe song is awsome…It’s what Christmas is all about giving! maybe if you got the chance to help someone…you might like this song…and my mom pasted away in november of last year and i bought her some shoes and robe for her to wear…and me only being 15 did not have enough i need about 6 dollars and a nice elderly man and his wife helped me out…and when my mom smiled at me when i gave her her gifts she smiled at me…while yet she was in pain…so i dont understand how this song does not touch you when it comes over the radio
Even I don’t like “The Christmas Shoes”.
One note on “The Christmas Song” and your thing about anyone but Nat, Mel Torme wrote it. He deserves an exclusion from your “anyone but” list.
S.C.
Thank you! “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” and “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” depress the CRAP out of me.
John Denver’s “Please Daddy, Don’t get Drunk this Christmas” has gotta rank up there:
Just last year when I was only seven
now I’m almost eight as you can see
You came home at quarter past eleven
and fell down underneath our Christmas tree
Please, daddy, don’t get drunk this Christmas
I don’t wanna see my mama cry
Please, daddy, don’t get drunk this Christmas
I don’t wanna see my mama cry
Mama smiled and looked outside the window
she told me son you’d better go upstairs
Then you laughed and hollered Merry Christmas
I turned around and saw my mama’s tears
Please, daddy, don’t get drunk this Christmas
I don’t wanna see my mama cry
Please, daddy, don’t get drunk this Christmas
I don’t wanna see my mama cry
(everybody sing!)
Please, daddy, don’t get drunk this Christmas
I don’t wanna see my mama cry
Please, daddy, don’t get drunk this Christmas
I don’t wanna see my mama cry
Here is the album I put together, amazingly awkward Christmas Vol. 1
http://www.oldschoolmp3.com/xmasalbum.html
What about Dan Fogelberg’s “Same Old Lang Syne”?
A few choice excerpts:
We took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totalled up and bagged
We stood there lost in our embarrassment
As the conversation dragged.
We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldn’t find an open bar
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car.
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.
*****
The beer was empty and our tongues were tired
And running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
And I watched her drive away.
Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain –
I hate the “Christmas Shoes” song. It’s pissing me off that some of the people who like this song are accusing us of being cold or heartless. Just because we don’t like cheesy Christmas songs doesn’t mean we’re heartless. I’m not a heartless person. I work at a non-profit, volunteer at homeless shelters and I tutor underprivileged children. But oh, I don’t like “Christmas Shoes” so that must automatically mean that I’m a heartless person with no feelings! *Roll eyes* I suggest that you judge people by their actions and not by what songs they like or don’t like. There is more to life than just Christmas songs. Go out and live and appreciate LIFE instead of telling people that they’re heartless just because their taste in music differs from yours. You people are so narrowminded. Oh and I also lost my father to illness when I was 10 years old so spare me the “If you had lost a parent you would appreciate the song” lecture.
And who the hell lets some little kid go out at night, by himself, to buy some shoes while his mother is dying???? Shouldn’t he be at home instead of begging for coins to buy her SHOES????
Remember kids, too much artifical sweetener can kill you.
Idiotic to post criticisms if you can’t even speak intelligently. First off, the guy’s name from Everclear is Art Alexakis. Saying “the dude from Everclear” just shows you are uninformed and not very intelligent. Secondly, their version of “Santa Baby” is one of my favorites, and considering I’ve heard close to 30 versions of the song and the original was the only one I knew for the first 12 years of my life, that says something.
And to add to the list of worst songs ever (trust me on this one, it should be number one), not sure what the title is, but it is a reggae/rap song that has the lyrics “I don’t care what the white man say, Santa Clause was black anyways…”
Christmas Shoes Defenders:
No, we don’t hate the song because it’s sad, or because we’re heartless. We hate it because it’s exceptionally deliberate and heavy-handed, and as Kevin so adeptly points out, it has a decidedly un-Christian message. It’s an incredibly cynical concept anyway: if we lay it on sappy enough and thick enough, we can tug people’s heartstrings all the way to the bank. No, thanks.
Jay:
Excellent point on the Streisand thing. It deserves at least a dishonorable mention. I’ll add it.
Mikey:
Haven’t heard the Bryan Adams thing.
Santa:
I know Torme’ wrote it (while poolside in Palm Springs or somewhere like that, if I’m not mistaken), but did he ever actually record it? If so, I haven’t heard it.
Jam:
Actually, ignorant maybe, but uninformed and unintelligent, no. What it proves is simply that I don’t give a shit. Nothing more.
The Christmas Shoe song is a cheap shot at your emotions. It’s ridiculous. It has all the depth of puddle and it’s just as drippy. I don’t understand how anyone could honestly like it. Maybe people who like this song are lacking a cynicism gene. These must be the same people who cry at Hallmark commercials.
Blog Post Mile 5
By the way, just a quick aside. With the past few days of political news for Bushmerica, OF COURSE CHENEY WENT TO IRAQ. It was either that or terrorist warnings/attacks/arrests.
And now, some damn good reading, if…
Did I miss a mention of that dog-woofing version of “Jingle Bells”? That is a ditty that can provoke a Holiday-cidal rage.
Are you honestly telling me you do not like Mel Torme’s version? He is, after all, the author of the song.
And the Christmas Shoes song doesn’t even make sense. Admittedly, and thankfully, I’ve only heard it a few times, but what kid buys shoes for his mother? Unless she were a dancer or something, wouldn’t you buy earrings or a scarf or something on the top half of the body?
I think that you are completly wrong about the “Christmas Shoes” the song is about a little boy who knows whats going to happen to his mother bc she is sick and wants her to die happy. It shows the true meaning of christmas which is about love and family. Not of people trying to run a scam…people like you are what is wrong with the world…always trying to find something to complain about…i hope that one day you find the love of christ so that you will know what it is to have someone who loves you.
God bless and merry CHRISTmas
I think everyone has an opinion and I respect that but I think that until you see your own mom die in front of you, like I did then you would appreciate the song “The Christmas Shoes” I think it is a very lovely and sentimental song. My opinion
On “The Christmas Shoes”: revolting is the idea that someone would actually sit down, pen and paper in hand, with this thought process: “Hmmm. How can I tap into the veritable ATM that is the soft-rock/soccer mom market? I know! I’ll write a really sappy, exploitive Christmas song that, on the surface, seems really touching and genuine!” UGH! There are SO many things wrong with this song:
· Why did the boy wait so long to get to the shoe store? If Mommy’s going to meet Jesus tonight, I’m thinking her illness was probably the kind that has lingered. And he’s only NOW going out to buy her something? Not to mention he doesn’t have enough money and some poor dude behind him in line actually buys the shoes
· Was Mommy that shallow in life that in death she’d expect her son to stand in line during the busy Christmas season to buy her a gift, instead of spending the precious final moments of her life with her at the bedside?
· We’ll forgive Rob Lowe for starring in the TV movie, as he was just trying to get a paycheck post-West Wing, but the chain of capitalistic greed that flowed as a result of this song is truly unforgivable – someone heard the song and actually wrote an entire BOOK based on it, which someone then used as the basis for a TV movie.
Christmas Shoes is the WORST. It wasn’t written to define the true spirit of Christmas - some guy thought he could make millions of dollars penning some sappy piece of junk for the soccer moms of the world. Hey, he’s laughing all the way to the bank.
How about “Baby, its Cold Outside”, especially the Barry Mannilow version? Definitely worthy of a place near the bottom of the list!
OK, let’s see…Christmas Shoes was written so the guy could make money on it. Doesn’t every singer write a song for the same reason? You don’t think all the rappers in this country laugh all the way to the bank with the rubbish they write & “sing” and call it a song. It’s a sad commentary on the state of human emotion that this song has caused such strong negative feelings from the anti side. For crying out loud, it’s only a song!! No one said it was a true story. All of you who are taking it so literally need to get a grip. “Shouldn’t he have bought her something for the upper part of her body??…come on!! Did the gifts you bought as a child for your parents always make sense? Of course not! But, hopefully, they came from the heart. Those of us who have that tender spot in our hearts can listen to this song and picture the boy and his mother. And we can relate it to something in our lives. Thankfully, my husband has that same tender spot and holds me when I cry, whether it’s listening to a song or watching a sad (sappy as you like to call it) movie. I thank the Lord he does have human emotion and not ice in his veins. May all of you with such hardened hearts some day learn the true meaning of Christmas.
Christmas Shoes Whoever is responsible for this in any fashion needs to get their ass kicked
Christmas shoes the abolute worst just below the hippotamus song Another ass kickin should be administered to that crazy minx
All I need for christmas is my 2 front teeth
horrible song sung by a complete idiot that would need more than 2 front teeth after I got done with them
[...] “Christmas Shoes” by NewSong - HATE. This is a song people are strongly divided on. And I can understand why the people who like it, like it. But that’s basically because those people are SAPS. This is a song solely crafted to tug at heartstrings and I detest that. Everytime I hear it, I feel manipulated. K hates it even more than I do. So whenever it comes on, we make fun of it. Petty of us, I know, but who can resist? [...]
Melissa and the rest of the Christmas Shoes defenders
Forgive me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the TRUE meaning of Christmas that a Jesus came down from heaven and was born to save us from our sins? I could be mistaken.
No, exploitive songs like this one are NOT the true meaning.
But, at it’s core, everyone is entitled to their opinion. I may not understand why those of you who like the song do, but I’m not going to try to make you hate it like I do. And frankly I think it’s pretty bad to call those of who hate this song “cold and heartless” simply because we don’t agree with you.
callistawolf:
Hey, hey, hey! No bringing level-headed rationality to this party, it’s not invited!
kellie:
The hippopotamus song is one of my favorites, actually.
Louisa:
Take a pill.
I like the song…
“Hey, Santa…hey santa santa”
or i like to sing it like this…
“Hey Samma, hey samma samma”
I do not like the CHRISTMAS SHOES song. I like to beat the mofo who wrote that song.
Christmas shoes is designed to manipulate people’s emotions. It tends to resonate with liberal bleeding hearts — the kind of people who cry at the drop of a hat.
the song “the Christmas shoes” … i dont think its the worst Christmas song… its sad , yes, and it does make me cry but in the song it shows that christmas is all about caring and loving … and this little boy loves his mom so hes doing all he can… how is that bad… it teaches people the real meaning of Christmas :]
Having never even heard the Christmas Shoes song……i wont comment directly on that (i`m English so maybe thats why i`ve been spared it) but what i will say is this:-
To Lousia
Nope not all songs are written to nake money, some songs are written as ARTISTIC EXPRESSION, i wont go on to name names as i`d be able to fill entire pages but mostly beacause i dont need to do so to negate your point there.
To everyone
I lost someone at Christmas some years ago now and know that the holiday time of year can be painful for some, but saccharine loaded balladry very rarely helps……no it dosent bring home the meaning of Christmas….the meaning has changed over the years since its inception…what 2000 years or so ago. Therefore anyone claiming to know the TRUE meaning of Christmas would have to be pretty old huh?
To anyone who wants to hear a GOOD Christmas tune……try Merry Christmas I Don`t Want To Fight Tonight by the Ramones……i don`t claim it shows the true meaning of Christmas or that it even has any deep meaning at all……….it`s just a bloody good tune.
Tom Drake
Christmas shoes is the best song of all time there are families really like that. come on have a heart dude
i wish i could build a time machine. First, I would go back in time to RIGHT before the “Christmas shoes” was recorded and murder everyone in the room. NO evidence can be left behind of this song.
Then I’d stop the holocaust.
and yes, christmas is about giving but the christmas shoes is a song about the SINGER buying the kid shoes.
Why doesn’t he just tell us how big his dick is and how much money he makes as well.
KEep your fucking charity to yourself.
I’m a little peeved at the suggestion that not liking this song means that I don’t understand “the true meaning of Christmas.” For what it’s worth, my mother died in her early 40s, so it’s not like I don’t understand what it’s like to lose a loved one. I hate this song specifically because I think it DISTORTS the true meaning of Christmas.
It’s not that I’m finding fault with the kid; he’s a KID, and if his theology is a little … peculiar … (of the things I would want to hear from Jesus, “Well done, good and faithful servant” is probably number one; “Hey, nice shoes” doesn’t really even make the list) well, Thomas Aquinas probably wasn’t at the top of his game at 6 or 7 either. He’s not thinking about himself, he’s thinking about his mom, and his heart is in the right place, even if we might disagree with his priorities (this is just a guess, but I agree with Scott that if his mother is dying, she’d probably rather have his presence than his presents).
It’s the narrator that makes me queasy. “God had sent that little boy to remind me of what Christmas was all about” … THAT I have problems with; to me it carries the implication that Christmas is all about stuff, after all. This song carries within it a message that is the exact opposite of How the Grinch Stole Christmas’ “Maybe Christmas, perhaps, doesn’t come from a store.”
I’m also not particularly fond of how horribly egocentric the song is. As several others have said, this is more or less equivalent to God saying “Hey, kid, sorry about your mom and all, but there’s this guy at the mall that’s not really in a Christmas mood, so My hands are tied. I’m sure you understand.”
Now, it’s certainly possible to argue that the song is not actually intended this way, and that in fact the meaning is that the guy is realizing that Christmas is about love, and giving, and ultimately about sacrifice, and all that… but that’s reading between the lines; it’s NOT in the lyrics.
Oh, other songs: How about “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”? If you think about it, the kid’s supposed to be in bed fast asleep, so it doesn’t make a lot of sense for Dad to get all dressed up. Either Mom and Dad are into some really kinky games, or that’s not Dad. This is not “cute,” it’s traumatic.
Can somebody please write the lyrics to “Christmas Shoes”? I’ve never heard this song before.
How quickly we forget — those barking dogs doing Jingle Bells. The year that came out, every radio station played it over and over and over…luckily, it’s rarely played anymore.
Any serious discussion of “worst Chritmas songs ever” must include “Dominic the Chritmas Donkey”, by Lou Monte. Anyone involved in the recording and/or production of this dreck should have been required to register with the police. I believe they were trying to create a Christmas character who might catch on like Rudolph the RNR, but wound up creating this unlistenable and embarrassing piece of crap. Donkeys deserve better.
i BEG you to include anything by Mannheim Steamroller on your list. Please spread the hatred - that guy or whoever they are killed Christmas a long time ago.
I have come across the best Christmas songs in people’s blogs a number of times, but this one is truly unique. Great work.
Peep into this amazing Holiday Blog for some unique gift ideas and loads of other interesting info.
No hatred for “A Tender Tennessee Christmas?”
Tommys beat me to mentioning the craptastic Same Old Lang Syne. That one is so bad it’s almost awesome.
Almost.
I like Annie Lennox’s Winter Wonderland, by the way.
For many years, I worked retail at Christmas, including at a K-mart and a Coconuts, so I thought I’d heard every bad song ever recorded. I don’t disagree with any of your selections.
That said, I’ve never heard “Christmas Shoes” and I hope I never do. I only heard about it for the first time a couple of Christmases ago when the boyfriend and his friends were talking about how awful it (and the movie) is. He sometimes threatens to download it and force me to listen to it. I beg him not to.
And for the record, the boyfriend is not heartless and is very much a Christian. He just happens to have reasonably good taste in music. I say “reasonably” because I recently discovered that he likes Journey, so that knocked him down a notch.
Does anyone remember the Christmas song about a little boy who finds Santa and says he has a sister and they want their real Mom & Dad back. In the song their Mon & Dad was killed in a car wreck and the little boy says “now I know God is good because he let me find you” he goes on to say “now I have my dog and my sister has her doll” toward the end of the song he wants Santa to be sure that all the Moms & Dads buckle up. Can anyone tell me the name of this song?
Thanks
Tommy in Tennessee
“Can anyone tell me the name of this song?”
Is it called “I want to belt my Mommy and Daddy”?
I think I have one that we all can agree upon, without offending anyone’s sensibilities.
Until they listen to it, and their ears start bleeding.
Apologies in advance.
Well, foot. The listening link didn’t work.
Maybe that was God saving us all.
Anyway, it’s Ringo Starr’s “Christmas Time is Here Again.” A snippet of the lyrics:
Christmas time is here again,
Christmas time is here again,
Christmas time is here again,
Christmas time is here again,
It’s been ’round since you know when.
Christmas time is here again,
Christmas time is here again,
Christmas time is here again,
Christmas time is here again,
Christmas time is here again,
It’s been ’round since you know when.
Christmas time is here again.
Repeat. Ad nauseum.
And I actually *like* Ringo.
Paul McCartney should have been arrested for writing “A Wonderful Christmas Time.” Forget about being a lousy Christmas song; it’s one of the worst songs ever written, period. That godawful repeated chorus with its synthesized bounce just makes me cringe.
Was McCartney issued a challenge to write a Christmas song in 30 seconds? The creative well was dry for this lame effort. Bleccchhh.
Has everyone forgotten Wham’s “Last Christmas”?
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special
christmas shoes is by far the worst song ever in the history of christmas music!!!!!!! then the hippo song, then bruce springsteen, santa clause is coming to town!!!!!!! it just goes on and on.
Yes, but what is the best Christmas song ever? Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron. Just my opinion. Let’s focus on the positive. I’m from NJ. I agree with that Bruce shouldn’t be singing Christmas songs.
I haven’t heard the Christmas Shoes song, but it sounds like syrupy dreck in the vein of that shmaltzy country song “Teddy Bear” (not the Elvis one - the trucker one). As for worst Christmas songs I vote for The Little Drummer Boy, and I agree on the McCartney one. As for one I like, how about George Thorogood’s A Rock and Roll Christmas - gotta love some guitar this time of year! The classic rock station up home would play it every year and it always made me smile - they would also play Cheech and Chong’s Santa Claus and His Old Lady (far out, man).
[...] Today’s song is Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Primarily becasue Tom choose it as one of his worst Chrismas songs. But he thinks Springsteen is bad, so how much taste can he have? The Pretender’s version of this is particularly nice. [...]
Personally anything with a choir of children singling in the background is enough to gag me with a candy cane
The worst Christmas song ever recorded is without a doubt “War Is Over” Sappy, stupid nonsensical garbage makes me want to puke!
[...] Tom was absolutely, one hundred percent correct: Christmas Shoes is the most horrible, un-Christian Christmas song of all time. I just heard it today on LaunchCast, and was stunned by its sheer bloody awfulness. Not only is it ham-handedly manipulative, not only is it song by someone who never met a note they couldn’t kill, but it has the most appallingly amoral message of any Christmas song I have ever heard. [...]
Trust me - if you ever hear it, the worst Christmas song is “The Cat Carol.” Sung without irony, the lyrics are completely inane. There’s actually a website for it - http://www.catcarol.com/
You are an idiot and insensitive fool! Think about it. It’s a feel-good song about the love of a child for his/her mother during a hard time. The fact the song involkes the emotion it does in so many people is proof enough that this song betas the HELL out of the crap you hear on most radio stations today. Lighten up and grow a soul!
I have to say “Something stuck up in the chimney” its creepy, stupid, and it almost sounds like the kid is happy that her dad has’nt been around for a year!
Santa baby has got to be the worst, if your not familiar with it, it’s sung Marline Monro style, it’s a spoiled rich lady asking Santa for convertibles, yachts, platinum mines and stuff we can only dream about. It’s just promoting greed the thing Christmas needs the least.
I’ll take a sappy heartstring puller any day over this.
for all the people defending “Christmas Shoes,” are you even listening to the lyrics of that song?!!
here’s the line you should be paying attention to: “I knew that God had sent that little boy / To remind me just what Christmas is all about.”
right. so God, in his infinite wisdom and love, gave a poor woman cancer so she would be near death and her son could go out to buy her a pair of shoes as her last rite just to make sure this idiot would be reminded of the spirit of Christmas.
schlock aside, this is possibly the most offensive pabulum I’ve ever heard.
ok… i just want to say to all the people who think the Christmas Shoes song is the worst song ever… hope you have a nice bathing suit for when you swim IN THE LAKE OF FIRE!! You guys are for sure going to Hell!
whoever up there in your comments put dan fogelburg’s same old lang syneis a bad song, you are wrong that is a good song…and the carol of the bells by trans syberian orchestra is amazing you shmuck
I must agree with the few good men and women here whom actualy have a heart and soul, the christmas shoes is a GOOD SONG. does that song not deny all that media wants us to get out of christmas,which is the presents, and the gifts, etc., and at the same time embrace all that christmas SHOULD be about: remembering the sacrifice christ made to save your ungrateful butts, and to embrace charity and love in our lives. all of you haters out there are like that disgruntled man BEFORE he felt the spirit of christmas. Merry Christmas to all!
well there’s not much to add to the Christmas Shoes debate- its complete unapologetic awfulness has been well documented above & it deserves to be #1 on the list. (I’ve been looking at a few of these lists for fun, & it’s #1 on ALL of them so far.)
I don’t understand how people can defend it as an example of Christian love. HOW does it speak of Christ’s sacrifice for my butt, grateful or otherwise? You might want to double-check your theology books if you think it’s touching and heartwarming that a child has been raised to believe that what’s going to matter when you meet Jesus is your choice of FOOTWEAR. or that shopping is more important than spending the last hours of his mother’s life with her. I guess it’s supposed to be an Example of Childlike Innocence that the kid thinks people take their shoes with them to heaven? It’s just stupid. why did his dad send him out shopping all by himself with no money? the guy behind him in line gets involved but isn’t concerned that this little boy is out all alone & might not get home safely? guess sacrificial love has it’s limits.
and who among you, when you were a kid, had ANY IDEA what size shoes your mom wore? (or thought shoes were a good Christmas present?) it’s SO made up, and made up so badly. THATS why I hate it. I can appreciate sad stories, even fictional ones, that create an emotional connection to a personal memory. this song is SO contrived that it does the opposite, it shuts down the emotional response because it feels so manipulative. It’s a PARODY of an emotional love story. for this song to touch the heart, it has to completely bypass the brain.
U R A GRINCH!
u have no right saying those things about theese songs. christmas is a time of being nice and kind and giving and u r not!!!!
No one mentioned I’ll Have a Blue Christmas. Was it by Elvis? That is the depressing one for me.
Shoes? You bought me shoes? I’m freaking dying, and you ran out and spent money on shoes? Come here you little shit. I’m gonna beat your ass with these shoes.
The Shoe song is by far the worst song ever, and not just among Christmas songs. To all you “true meaning of Christmas” simpletons who defend the Shoe song: there are plenty, PLENTY of songs about Christ’s birth that reflect the true meaning. Wake up losers; that song was written to manipulate you, to tug at your heart and to SELL SELL SELL. It’s not only a downer, but it makes no friggin sense. Are we supposed to believe Christ is so materialistic he will be impressed with the mother’s new pumps? What an assinine song.
Some people’s worst songs are other’s best. Here are my best:
You’re Not the Kind of Ho (That Santa Had in Mind)
Dr. BLT
words and music by Dr. Bruce L. Thiessen, aka Dr. BLT (c) 2006
http://www.drblt.net/music/hosong.mp3
What Kind of Christmas (Has This Become)?
Dr. BLT
words and music by Dr. Bruce L. Thiessen, aka Dr. BLT (c) 2006
http://www.drblt.net/music/WhatKindaChristmas.mp3
Sorry, bad link.
What Kind of Christmas (Has This Become)?
Dr. BLT
words and music by Dr. Bruce L. Thiessen, aka Dr. BLT (c) 2006
http://www.drblt.net/music/WhatKindaXmas.mp3
While I respect those that have their opinions on disliking “The Christmas Shoes”, I like it (and teared up listening to it). I don’t think that it’s exploiting or manipulating in any way ‘cuz it’s showing that Christmas itsn’t always cheery to some people, due to any circumstances. I also believe that it shows that giving is better than recieving.
I have to say, The Christmas Shoes song is by far THE worst song EVER. But I gotta tell ya, I haven’t laughed this hard in a long long time. The replies to some of the sappy dolts
defending the song are priceless! Thank you for the
tears (of laughter) in my eyes!
Gee, and you accomplished that without any emotional blackmail or contrived Oliver Twist/Tiny Tim imagery!
How about that…
I definately disagree with “have yourself a merry little christmas” its actually one of my favorites. But the one I despise is “Wonderful Christmas Time.” It sounds like a record label told Paul to come up with something for the holidays and he threw words together with a bad melody and the result is a heartless Christmas tune. As for the Newsong song, I am a little indifferent, the concept sounds kind of heart-felt but the result comes out a little corny. And as I was reading they have another one about Alzhiemers which almost sounds like they’re marketing off of dying people at Christmas. Anyways, Merry Christmas
The song “(Have Yourself) a Merry Little Christmas” was written specifically for the musical Meet Me In St. Louis. The song is being sung by a young woman to her younger sister when they find out that their father intends to move the family to New York at Christmas time. The older girl (Judy Garland) is trying, and failing, to convince her sister that everything will work out. Its supposed to be maudlin. In fact the original song had the following line “Have yourself a merry little Christmas, it may be our last, come next year our good times will all have passed”
Nothing warms my heart like seeing consumers driving needlessly in their SUVs, fighting automobile and human traffic while running up their credit card debt to the tune of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.
It blows my mind that the people who actually LIKE “Christmas Shoes” are calling those of us that HATE it cold and heartless. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am Christian, I love Christmas, I rejoice at the birth of Christ, and I love very nearly all Christmas songs.
But “Christmas Shoes” was so clearly written to manipulate us as to render it unbearable for that fact alone. I can understand how it can honestly tug at your heart if you have faced a similar situation , really I do. But can’t you just see the men in suits sitting around the conference table calculating just exactly how much sap they could wring out of this song, which is manipulative to the hilt? That’s why I hate this song. The song is so bald-faced manipulative that it just makes me angry to think that they actually thought we were so stupid we couldn’t see through their manipulation.
Now I hear that NewSong has come up with “Christmas Carol” which is likely just as manipulative, only this time it’s about Alzheimer’s. Did you hear that sound? — cha-ching — it’s the sound of the cash registers ringing up the sales of their latest SapFest. Lord help us all.
I agree - after what looks like a two-year long blog, “Christmas Shoes” is the worst christmas song without a doubt. I used to like Christmas music but now it seems like everywhere you go, it’s playing in the background as if subliminal messages have been added saying “buy stuff because that is really what christmas is all about”.
BTW - I do kind of like that dan folgerberg song.
Yeah, I can just see the guy telling his producer about it- -
See it’s about this little kid, and his mothers dying.
No, she does not get better. She is dying, that is the point
and she is going to die on Christmas eve.
No, No hear me out on this one it’s okay that she is dying, some guy helps him with a few bucks to buy some shoes for her.
No the shoes don’t cure her
[...] I also did some googling for what others think are bad Christmas songs. Over at a blog called Lean Left, they nominated “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” by Bruce Springsteen. Boy are they right about this one. The Boss sounds like he was chainsmoking and drinking whisky for about three hours before he got on stage and sang this chainsaw of a song. Not to mention he’s as winded as a sumo wrestler on mile five of a 10K. [...]
I’ve never actually heard “Christmas Shoes,” and based upon the information provided here, I hope I never do. It sounds like a godawful piece of schlock. “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas,” however, rocks. Gayla Peevy is the shiznit.
Thank God someone mentioned that wussy Wham song. I ALWAYS change the station when that comes on.
It sounds like he is 16 years old and has his first girlfriend.
While I agree about several of these songs (though I would add any version of fricking “This Christmas”, but particularly the one by that guy from American Idol.) I have to stand absolutely aghast at the inclusion of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, as well as the knock at S&M. Heavy Metal + Orchestra is a great, great thing, and it’s a great shame that “Orchestral Metal” so rarely means that–Symphony X makes me cry.
Please what kind of manipulating can a song do. Just because I like the song doesn’t make me run out and buy it. Heck you can hear enough of it on the radio. The fact that some of you just laugh when you hear that song is quite heart-breaking. Get more hobbies for yourself rather than sit around and make up underlying messages about songs. IT’S JUST A SONG!!! You are probably the same people who say songs and violence on t.v. cause people to kill people.
Wake up!!
Grandma got run over by a reindeer ….. apparently she was out shopping for “Christmas Shoes”
whoever is dissing on the christmas shoes song is gay thats my fav. song
The best version of Have Yourself a Little Christmas is done by the original singer Judy Garland. It is truly sung beautifully by this singer. All others pale in comparison.
Also, the Christmas Shoes song is good song but it definitely is depressing. I think it was meant to show that Christmas is not simply gathering around at the dinner table or opening presents. It is a story of a boy who is more interested in getting shoes for her mother when she meets Jesus than getting his own presents.
Yup, the Christmas Shoes is heavy handed and sappy like a bad love poem. It’s ok to write a song about something deeper than presents and all, but this is like drinking a bottle of honey while euthanizing your beloved pet. Another bad one is “Christmas in Washington.” Another overly-dramatic, sappy, give-me-a-sopping-wet-kiss of a song. In this one, a lady sings about all the landmarks in DC as the snow comes down. Maybe it’s because I live right outside of DC, but I don’t share her wonderment. And while I’m rolling, “A Wonderful Christmas Time” with Paul McCartney would be not-too-bad if it were done acoustically without the synthesizer/keyboard in the background. I really enjoy about 95% of the rest.
Christmas Shoes is the worst tune in the history of recorded music! I can’t change the channel fast enough when it comes on. It needs to be removed from every radio station’s playlist!
“Last Christmas” isn’t so bad if you change the lyrics:
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, I admitted I’m gay.
This year, to save me from tears,
I’ll wank in a public restroom.
Actually, Carol of the Bells by Trans-Siberian ORch. feat Metallica was actually pretty good on my part. As for Christmas Shoes, that song depresses the hell out of me and make me want to rip my ears off.
The Christmas Shoes is a great song. I’m sorry you guys have no hearts to feel anything for anyone but yourself. I actually know a family that is going through this right now & it is terrible. That movie, is so sad & it shows the true meaning of Christmas, & obviously you don’t know what that is like. That boy, unlike so many other kids these days, is going to buy a pair of shoes for his mom ON HIS OWN..Just for her too look beautiful.. HOW many kids would do that for you or for anyone in that matter? They would probably just sit around..watching everyone else around them. That song, in my opionion, is what each one of us should have in us & unfortuantely not many of us do. Hopefully all the people going through that don’t take offense to that comment of yours, I surely wouldn’t want the people i know going through this, to see those comments.
Have you heard the CAT CAROL? A cat freezes to death in a snowsorm protecting a MOUSE. What does that have to do with Christmas?
Christmas shoes in NOT a Christmas song, it’s stupid. Holly Jolly Christmas is a good song. Springsteens’ version of SCICTT STINKS. Trans-Siberian Orch are excellent! Grandma got run over by a reindeer is another stupid song. BARF!
Well, I have to agree with everyone on that dag gone Christmas Shoes song, man. It almost couldn’t get worse until you hear “Christmas Eve In Washington”. Living in the DC Metro area, I laughed and laughed the first few times I heard it. Just hated it. Now it’s almost a tradition. My husband and I even call each other at work to see if one or the other has heard “it” yet. Sorry to admit that we almost look forward to hearing it . Did I just say that?
Oh, and thank you for post # 94…by far the best. Treat yourself and go back and read it.