Violating my religion and linking Michelle Malkin:

On a $5 dare from friends, 13-year-old Justin Porter climbed 35 feet up an electric transmission tower. Who was to know such an adventure might prove dangerous? 19,700 volts later, his mother, Anna Thebeau, is suing the electric utility, Ameren, saying it should have fenced off the tower against trespassers, should have posted a big warning sign on it, should have designed it so that it could not be climbed up, and should have insulated the wires far overhead.

Why does this story catch my interest? Because when I was 15 years old, three friends and I were arrested in the City of Milwaukee for climbing a steel framework electric transmission tower just outside a power substation on our way home from school. Except that ours was a wee bit bigger. We climbed about 75 feet up, and the tower was carrying 275,000 volts.

We didn’t stop at climbing the tower, either. We had carefully balanced atop it two shopping carts and a Christmas tree. We were just about to bomb one of the carts off the tower when I saw the police coming. D’oh! Worst part is, we’d been doing this for nearly a year (the climbing part, not the carrying-stuff-up part).

Thankfully, nobody ever got hurt (apart from what our parents did to us). It was especially fun for me, since I had the good judgment to get arrested on my father’s birthday. My brother (then 19) bailed me out, so we were going to just not tell him, but the arresting officer decided to do due diligence and call my Dad to notify him. When he responded to my “Happy birthday” with “Happy birthday my ass,” I knew I was in for it! [You thought I was an idiot now? The "me" of yore was far, far worse. I was so dumb, I was even a Republican, but that's another story...]

You might be wondering how I know that the tower carried 275,000 volts. Well, it’s because my friend’s idiot father, wanting to make a point, called the electric company to find out. Since we were all minors, the police were prohibited by law from identifying us to the power company. But Idiot Dadtm voluntarily identified himself to the power company on the phone, at which point their lawyers sent him a letter and a bill for $828.82 to cover the hazardous pay time it required to remove the stuff we balanced up there. (That number is forever ingrained in my head, by the way.) So instead of getting off with just the $38.75 each that was the maximum fine for minors at the time, we all had to chip in $207.21 extra to pay that bill. Actually, our parents had to do that, and we had to pay them back.

Finally, this goes without saying, but: Kids, DO NOT try this at home!