Ultimate Mangia
Posted by
KTK
Continuing my series of idiotic advertising, because I have nothing substantive to say, I just couldn’t pass up the tagline: “Perhaps the coolest and most powerful spork ever created.”
The Spork of the Gods Every mythic hero normally has an equally mythic weapon. Zeus had his thunderbolts. Thor had his hammer, Mjolnir. King Arthur had his Excalibur. Frodo and Bilbo had their Sting. Rhydderch Hael had his Dyrnwyn. King Kong had his bananas…you get the idea. It’s time for you to join the ranks of the heroes and heroines of lore as you wield your own legendary weapon in your battle against a very powerful foe: hunger.
The Titanium Spork is ready for the challenge. Titanium is known for its great strength, corrosion resistance, and light weight, which makes this spork a valuable asset around feeding time. Imagine how much more food you could shovel in at your local buffet if you didn’t have to worry about the strain of picking up a heavy fork or spoon. Your food consumption can become the stuff of legends. Even just holding the Titanium Spork in your hand, you can feel its power. It is perhaps the greatest gastronomic invention since lickable wallpaper. Hunger, beware - your end is near!
I’d post the picture, but . . . it’s a spork. You know - a spoon with some teeth ground into the edge so you can also use it as a fork. It’s cool. It’s powerful. It evokes the ancient gods. But, you know . . . it’s a spork.
More than a dozen people submitted “action shots” of the spork. I’m seriously thinking of ordering one.
