Thin Crisp Biscuit
I just loved this comment over at Jay Bookman’s blog, on Representative Lynn Westmoreland’s asinine explanation for his calling Barack Obama “uppity” at least three times (“I’ve never heard that term used in a racially derogatory sense. It is important to note that the dictionary definition of ‘uppity’ is ‘affecting an air of inflated self-esteem — snobbish.’ That’s what we meant by uppity when we used it in the mill village where I grew up.”).
By Chet Hayes
This morning I called Westmoreland’s office
Them: Good morning, Congressman Westmoreland’s office.
Me: Good morning, I would like to make a public comment.
Them: Yes, sir, what is your comment?
Me: I would like to compliment Congressman Westmoreland on his comments yesterday about Barack Obama. We need more people like him to call a spade a spade. You crackers in Georgia must be very proud.
Them: [long pause] Sir, there’s no need to be insulting.
Me: I’m sorry, but how did I insult you?
Them: There is no need to call me a cracker.
Me: I’ve never heard that term used in a derogatory sense. It is important to note that the dictionary definition of “cracker” is “a thin, crisp biscuit.” That’s what we meant by cracker when we used it in the city where I grew up.
Them: Well, that’s not how you meant it.
Me: Oh, so what you’re saying is that you don’t like being called names. Now you know how it feels.
Them: [another long pause] Sir, I have to take another call.
As Bookman comments: “I wonder what they call that line of defense in PR school. I propose we name it the ‘My client is stupider than dirt’ defense.”
Now, see, where I grew up, ‘uppity’ didn’t have a racial implecation, though it certainly was derogatory. Mind you, since I grew up in NH and met a total of four black people and maybe a few more hispanics in my entire life prior to college, it’d be pretty hard to even tell if anyone speaking was racist. Heck, as far as I could tell, there’s not racism in NH. You can’t very well have bad race relations when there are no race relations.
That said, I notice that his definition doesn’t include any implication at all that the uppity person is exceeding their station. I can never decide whether the right wing has a worse grasp on current reality or on history.
Oh, and in case it needs pointing out, even thinking that somebody has a “station” in society is deeply unamerican.
Just use the google for “uppity nigger”, case closed.
“In the Heat of the Night”, “They Call me MR Tibbs”, “To Kill a Mockingbird”…Don’t have to reach back very far in my memory to recall film and literature that dealt with white resentment of “uppity” blacks. To deny this phenomenon existed or specific terminology was used is revisionism plain and simple.
I like the mix of “It is important to note that the dictionary definition of ‘uppity’ is ‘affecting an air of inflated self-esteem — snobbish.’” and “in the mill village where I grew up”.
It reminds me of one break time down the slate mine, when one of the apprentices tried to tell me that Gregor metamorphoses into a butterfly because his mundane existence has stripped his humanity, and Kafka is just extending that to its absurdist conclusion. I told him that it’s obviously a commentary on Gregor’s alienation from, and desire to escape from, his family. And then I punched him.
Personally I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been discussing Kafka down the slate mine when one of the apprentices has tried to tell me that Gregor becomes a butterfly because his mundane existence has essentially stripped him of all humanity. Wankers.
(oops, bad editing left a bogus third paragraph in there – fortunately the joke was so labored already that my mistake couldn’t spoil it!)
Well of course it was a Labour joke. It’s about miners!
Miners? I thought it was about minors and early loss of innocence in the strip mines.