Who Knew?
Sep 11
Apparently our very own KTK writes for the San Francisco Chronicle under the pen name “Mark Morford”:
Translation: “clean coal” is not only one of the most insidious, repugnant oxymorons — right up there with “friendly fire” and “conservative think tank” and “Alaskan teen virgin” — it’s also one of the deadliest.
…snip…
Two generic moms, one pouring her kids a big, fat glass of bright red HFCS-laden pseudo-juice, as the other frowns and says gosh golly Susan, you feed your kids that crap? That has high fructose corn syrup in it!
And the first irresponsible mom just smiles an ‘oh you stupid bitch’ kind of robotic smile and says hey, HFCS is really no worse than sugar, it’s natural because it’s made from corn, and it’s perfectly OK in moderation, so shut the hell up and drink your nauseating food-colored crap, Marjorie (please note: I might be paraphrasing slightly).
Isn’t that lovely? To be fair, they have a meager point. Despite its highly processed nature, HFCS might very well be exactly as bad for you as plain ol’ sugar (by the way, thanks to the wishy-washy FDA, “natural” is a completely bulls–t term that means nothing; calling HFCS “natural” is like calling Cindy McCain natural).
…snip…
On it goes. Every major oil company has a pseudo-green, false-front “Let’s take care of our planet” BS campaign underway, whitewashing their evils so insultingly it’s like Dick Cheney wearing a PETA T-shirt to a canned pheasant hunt. Even the king of consumer mediocrity, Microsoft, launched a “Vista: It’s not quite as awful as you’ve heard” campaign to help stifle the low-level groans of 20 million bug-addled users.
…snip…
But perhaps none of these examples can top the scabrous GOP, suddenly being repackaged and resold to exhausted, Bush-ravaged Americans as “the maverick party,” with John McCain desperately trying to distance himself from the worst and most abusive administration in a lifetime, all the torture and warmongering and pandering to the religious right, even as he so obviously plans to continue it all.
It’s a rather sickening marketing ploy, made even more contemptible by McCain’s choice of VP, not someone of sharp political acumen who will challenge his decisions and offer insight and inspire confidence, but Sarah Palin, former mayor of a piddling, eyeblink of a pee-stop town in rural Nowheresville, a shrill woman of zero political accomplishment clearly brought on board to lure both confused white women and the hard evangelical right, a minor state governor who thinks Creationism is dandy and who just got her first passport in 2007 and who would happily pass a law to force your daughter to have the baby if she’d been raped. Charming.
Truly, Palin is that most dangerous of self-aggrandizing right-wing politico, a potentially very powerful woman full of moxie and nerve and intensely intolerant, extremist views who actually hates women. Really, you can’t get much more Republican than that.
And lo, in the spirit of Wal-Mart and the Corn Refiners Association and the clean-coal cretins trying to make their rampant evils seem slightly less, well, evil, we humbly offer to McPalin this new marketing slogan: “The Republicans: An entirely new kind of contemptible you hadn’t even thought of yet.”
I’d recognize that writing style anywhere! If that’s not KTK, he should be suing for copyright infringement! 
#1 by Kevin T. Keith at September 11th, 2008
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Yeehaaa! The Chron must have re-grown a spine after splitting back away from the Examiner. They were a real fighting paper at one time, but fell on hard times; I’d heard they were coming back. Good to see!
And no, I don’t write for the Chronicle, but I’m likely the only Lean Lefter who has been named in the Chronicle - by Herb Caen, no less! I’ll be glad to give them some pointers, but it looks like Morford’s on the right track.
#2 by tgirsch at September 11th, 2008
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What did they name you for?
#3 by Kevin T. Keith at September 11th, 2008
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Nothing important.
Caen was their “bold-faced name” columnist (gossip, local events, and whatever he thought was interesting). He wrote mostly fluff, but occasionally wrote real columns, too, and he had a way of throwing real substance in with his goofy tidbits. He was very well-respected even though his column was pretty lightweight.
Anyway, he’d take whatever trivia people fed him and put it in the column if it caught his fancy.
One time, my dad responded to an offer in the back of some political magazine, offering American flags that had been flown over the US Capitol. (You can still get one by writing to your Senator or Representative. There’s a small fee. My dad said he was told they were “flown over the Capitol” in cargo containers, in the belly of a C-130. I’ve read elsewhere they’re actually raised on a flagpole, but it’s not the big pole you see on the Capitol Dome, and they’re “flown” in a basket containing dozens at once.)
So eventually the flag arrived, with a certificate stating that it had indeed been flown over the US Capitol building on a certain date. By coincidence, the date happened to have been my birthday that year, not that that means anything. My dad wrote it in to Herb Caen, and he printed it - congratulating me personally on my sense of timing - on what must have been a very slow news day, even for a gossip columnist. I knew nothing about it, but when I got to school that day, in second or third grade, I was mobbed by students whose parents had read Caen’s column at breakfast that morning and told their kids, who then wanted to know how I’d gotten my name in the paper. All I could say was “Huh?”
We had that flag for years, flying it on July 4th and the like. An utterly trivial incident, but for some reason it always gave me a feeling of connection whenever I heard Caen’s name mentioned.
#4 by tgirsch at September 11th, 2008
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We had that flag for years, flying it on July 4th and the like.
Hey, I remember those days, when people would fly their flags on the federal holidays*, and otherwise put them away. Seems like a long time ago, doesn’t it? Now, if you don’t have at least two flags flying 24×7†, a flag lapel pin, and American Flag underwear, you’re a terrorist-loving, America-hating faggot.
*Disclosure: That’s still how I do it, although I must admit I generally fly it only on the major federal holidays (i.e., the ones for which I get the day off), and then I generally fly it for the entire holiday weekend rather than just that day.
†Fun Exercise: Drive around a suburban neighborhood at night, and count how many “patriots” are flying their flag without it being properly lit, in direct violation of official US Flag Etiquette.
#5 by Dan M. at September 12th, 2008
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I like the official Flag Code and all, but what’s even more interesting is the idea that the general publc could have a concept of respect for what the flag symbolizes without having to resort to authority.
…and I want a pony.
#6 by Kevin T. Keith at September 12th, 2008
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Dan M:
Actually, I have just the opposite point of view. (See my recent post about the Democratic convention flag nonsense.)
I’m much more concerned that people care about what really matters, not about the symbols that refer to the things that matter. A flag is a sign - it points to something else. The thing the flag points to - our country, and, indirectly, its values and civic creed - matter a great deal. The flag itself matters no more than does a “No Parking” sign. It’s only value is in its utilitarian usage (where that usage, for flags, may be symbolic or decorative). You don’t have to respond to it in any particular way, unless that serves some purpose for you under the circumstances, and it means nothing if something happens to the flag - you can just get another one if you need it.
I’d much prefer that people cared a lot more about their Constitution, and not at all about flags and symbols. The same people who get bent out of shape about whether somebody wears a flag pin on his clothes also support politicians who rule by fiat, initiate war by deception and without provocation, suspend habeas corpus, deny due process, erect secret detention camps, practice torture, and engage in secret arrests, imprisonment incommunicado, and trial without charges, evidence, or the right to confront witnesses. And those facts are not independent. The right wing can destroy democracy in part because they have befuddled their own followers with symbol over substance, and encouraged them to whip up emotional frenzies over empty issues.
The less we have of that the better. In fact, Obama was perfectly correct (though he didn’t put it quite this way): wearing an American flag pin has become a telling symbol of hostility to liberty and democracy. If we want to take our country back, a good first step would be to encourage people to stop waving the damn flags and start thinking about whether they believe what it says in the Constitution.
#7 by tgirsch at September 12th, 2008
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KTK:
Did you really just make the “its/it’s” mistake? Oy! Self-flagellation is in order!
I agree with you, though — the symbol is just a symbol — a proxy. That said, however, it seems to me when you decide to display that symbol, and you half-ass it, you’re showing disrespect to more than just the symbol, but also to what the symbol stands for. In other words, if you’re going to do it, for fuck’s sake, do it right. Otherwise, don’t do it. (Hell, I live in a part of the country where the Confederate flag is treated with more respect than the US flag — I’m still trying to formulate my escape plan!)
As it is, the excessive flag-waving and the pervasiveness of improper flag displays only serve to cheapen the symbol and, as you say, divorce it from what it’s supposed to stand for. It has become a symbol not of patriotism, but of jingoism and blind nationalism, and that’s a Very Bad Thing.
This is part of why I bought a flag this year, and display it on the holidays, as my father did. I’m trying to take the symbol back, and I’m doing that by doing it properly, and by respecting what it stands for (or, at least, is supposed to stand for).
#8 by Dan M. at September 12th, 2008
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KTK,
Good comment, but it’s not adressing what I said: “respect for what the flag symbolizes”
My point was that displaying the flag can come out a couple of different ways:
(1) You can have a flag pin like a neo-con, where you’re really just lying with the symbol
(2) You can have a deep personal respect for the nation and its principles and show those by using the flag according to the Flag Code, because that is the normative way of demonstrating respect when using that symbol.
But there are two other cases:
(3) You can not be lying, but not really know what makes the nation good, and just fly the flag as a form of vapid boosterism.
(4) You can not know the details of the Flag Code, but honestly want to respect the nation’s princples, and thus use the flag, against code but respectfully. For instance, you might fly the flag in a bad storm thinking that it echos the virtue of perseverence.
You’re complaining about (1). I’m complaining about (3), and I thing a tasteful, well-intentioned (4) is even better than (2).