Self-Hating Jackass Pool: “Coming Back Out” Day by KTK

OK – so I’ve just stumbled across this “ex-gay” clown I hadn’t head of before: Michael Glatze. Apparently he was a medium-size fish in gay media – co-founded a successful gay-oriented magazine, made an award-winning documentary – starting around the late 90s, until “‘coming out’ from under the influence of the homosexual mindset” sometime in the middle of the Bush years. In the summer of 2007 he became a Mormon and starting giving interviews to right-wing media about his “ex-gay” experiences.

He now peddles the familiar line – he was an orphan, “confused”, didn’t know how to handle his feelings, God “came to him” (and magically cured his upset stomach), and now he’s “free”. His interviews are laced with the standard pejorative rhetoric: “sin”, “ignorance”, “guilt”, and lots and lots and lots about “lust” (boy, is he all about lust). He darkly hints that homosexuality should be outlawed, and that there is a gay conspiracy to destroy Christianity and force people to acquiesce in their evil ways. And he’s just really, really into that sweet, sweet God-lovin’. More than anything, he gushes with that compulsive, strangely triumphal self-loathing that Christianity seems to demand, and feeds on. It used to be that drunks at revival meetings talked this way; now it’s “ex-gays” in the right-wing media:

there is no homosexual “desire” that is apart from lust.. . .

Homosexuality allows us to avoid digging deeper, through superficiality and lust-inspired attractions – at least, as long as it remains “accepted” by law. . . .
I believe that is why Christianity scares people so much. It reminds them of their conscience, . . .

Healing from sin and ignorance is always possible, . . .

our culture sanctions behaviors that harm life. Guilt should be no reason to avoid the difficult questions.

Homosexuality took almost 16 years of my life and compromised them with one lie or another, . . .

I was repulsive for quite some time; I am still dealing with all of my guilt. . . .

Now I know that homosexuality is lust and pornography wrapped into one. I’ll never let anybody try to convince me otherwise, no matter how slick their tongues or how sad their story. I have seen it. I know the truth.

So here’s the rules for . . .

The Self-Hating Jackass Betting Pool

(1) Predict the day when, either, this guy announces, or it is discovered, that he’s still enthusiastically sucking cock.

(2) Put your bets in the Comments.

(3) Closest guess to the actual “coming back out” date wins. You’re responsible for reminding me that you’ve won when he switches back.

(4) The over/under is January 1, 2013. I’ve got the under. You can take the over, but multiple winners get to split a $15.00 total prize.

(5) Closest-date winner gets their choice* of a copy of Sex Tips for Gay Guys, or Sex Tips for Straight Women by a Gay Man, both by Dan Anderson,

or The Whole Lesbian Sex Book, by Felice Newman,

or Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men, by Jamie Goddard,

. . . or, what the hell, Sex Tips from a Dominatrix, just to cover all the bases.

* By request, because not everyone’s a gay man (other than “ex-gays”, of course)!