October 14th, 2008
Good:
What do you think about Sarah Palin?
[laughs uncontrollably] I used to think that Michael Palin was the funniest Palin on Earth. What fascinates me, though, is how - people watching her on television – can they not see that she’s basically learned certain speeches? And she does them very well, she’s got a very good memory. But it’s like a nice-looking parrot – because the parrot speaks beautifully, and kind of says “Aw, shucks” every now and again – but doesn’t really have any understanding of the meaning of the words that it is producing, even though it’s producing them very accurately.
And she’s been in these training sessions with Cheney’s pals, and she’s learned these speeches, and the extraordinary thing is that so many people are taken in by it. And the truth is that Sarah Palin is no way good enough.
And if you lined up, from Europe, left-wingers, centrists, right-wingers, you wouldn’t find 10%, you really wouldn’t find 5%, who think she’s good enough to run the United States. And she’s running as the partner of a 72-year-old cancer survivor!
I mean, Monty Python could have written this! [laughs uncontrollably]
And I’m sorry, Michael Palin, to say you’re not the funniest Palin anymore, but you’re not.
Better: It was John Cleese.
Best: She’s soon to be an ex-parrot (politically speaking, that is).
H/T: Andrew Sullivan.
Categories: Culture, General, Media, News & Current Events, Pets, Politics |
No Comments
March 20th, 2007
Oh, man! If this isn’t a smash hit in the BDSM community, I’m sure it soon will be.
Micro remote dog trainer with pocket-sized handheld transmitter
300-yard range; 9 stimulation levels; tone-only training option
Backlit LCD digital display; collar fits neck sizes 8 to 24 inches
Electro-shock “dog” (yeah, right) collar with remote-control transmitter - you push a button to deliver a warning tone or 9 levels of voltage, adjustable for intensity or duration. When you say “Heel!”, they’ll heel!
Categories: Culture, Doggie Bloggin', General, Humor, Privacy, Religion, Torture |
2 Comments
January 30th, 2007
On a number of levels:
Click for larger image. Taken at my neighborhood supermarket.
Categories: Doggie Bloggin', Pets |
16 Comments
November 27th, 2006
I have always been disgusted by PETA , the animal-rights group that simply can’t seem to refrain from acting like assholes. But, their weirdo tactics aside, they’re also dumb as bricks:
(more…)
Categories: Culture, General, Holiday, Pets, Politics |
12 Comments
October 26th, 2006
As if anyone needed any additional evidence that I’m a lazy bastard, I’ve just started paying this service to pick up the dog crap in my yard once a week, so I don’t have to. It’s a little expensive, but dammit, it’s worth it, and they do a mighty fine job. Plus, they get bonus points for a great name.
Categories: Doggie Bloggin', Libertarian Problem Solving, Pets |
3 Comments
June 21st, 2006
If you’re looking for a purebred Boxer pup, but want to do a rescue rather than buy from a backyard breeder, now’s your big chance:
!!!URGENT!!!!
BOXAR CONTINUES TO BE IN “PLEADING MODE”. AS THEY SAY, WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS. MEET HILDE AND HER PUPS. THEY WERE STRAYS. POOR HILDE APPEARS TO HAVE RAISED THESE PUPPIES ALL ALONE. SHE SUFFERS FROM A SNAKEBITE TO HER LEG, DEMODEX MANGE AND HEARTWORMS. OUR VET ADVISED US TO TAKE THE PUPS AWAY FROM HER AS SHE CANNOT CONTINUE TO CARE FOR THEM IN HER CONDITION. THE PUPS ARE OLD ENOUGH AND CAN EAT ON THEIR OWN. BUT WE ARE STILL IN NEED OF HELP TO PAY OUR MOUNTING VET AND BOARDING FEES. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO DONATE, YOU CAN DO SO IN EITHER OF TWO WAYS: YOU CAN CLICK ON THE PAYPAL BUTTON IN THE LOWER, LEFT COLUMN OR YOU CAN MAIL A CHECK TO BOXAR RESCUE, POB 831, CARLISLE, AR 72024
Please keep in mind our need for foster homes. Our boarding fees are out of hand and we are in need of loving homes for our Boxers to stay until their adoptive families come along. Please consider taking a needy Boxer into your home.
BoxAR Rescue is a good organization. Our second dog came from them, and they’re top shelf. They screen you before they even show you the dogs, they follow up, and they require you to neuter/spay (part of a contract you have to sign).
Categories: Doggie Bloggin', Pets |
8 Comments
February 15th, 2006
Even months after the fact, there are still frequent comments being added to this post I did on cats versus dogs. They range from cruel and ignorant to bizarre and downright hilarious. Check it out.
The not-so-funny follow up is that the cat in question has since died at a very young age (only five), and that the spraying was probably symptomatic of the problems that ultimately killed her.
Against my better judgment, I now have a new cat (more on this later), and so far no incidents.
Categories: Pets |
10 Comments
December 20th, 2005
For a little better than a week now, I’ve been planning to do a light-hearted piece concerning a recent mishap involving my long-haired cat, Katrina (”Kat” for short). You’ve likely seen the joke e-mail concerning a cat mistakenly getting a “lion cut”, which I always thought was a humorous scenario until it happened to my cat (it did).
That’s not going to happen any more.
Continue reading for the sappy stuff.
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Categories: Pets |
No Comments
July 28th, 2005
This stray dog, who I’m calling “Richard” for the moment we’re calling “Cooper,” was found roaming the parking lot of my neighborhood’s supermarket. He had a flea collar but no other collar and no identification. It appears as though someone had at some point set fire to his face. Literally. UPDATE: It’s just a really bad case of mange. UPDATE II: We’ve decided to call him “Cooper” because we found him in the parking lot of
Despite this, he’s got a good temperment and seems cheery and playful. Other than that, we know nothing about him. He’s got some very Newf-like features, except he’s probably only about 20 pounds. He doesn’t seem to have been stray for long — he seems fairly well fed and didn’t wolf down the food we offered him; he ate it, but not like a dog who’d been stray for a while would have done.
Keeping him is probably not an option, since we’ve already got two dogs, but my wife and I will do what we can to nurse him back to health and find a loving home for him. If you know anyone near Memphis who would be willing to provide such a home, let me know.
For the scum that did this to him, there simply aren’t words.
Semi-happy UPDATE: Turns out it’s not burn wounds, but a really gnarly case of mange. Fortunately, the non-contagious kind. And they’re guessing his age at about three months, either Newf-mix or Chow-mix. We’re working with the Memphis Humane Society right now.
Now, on with the pictures.
Categories: Doggie Bloggin' |
5 Comments
June 16th, 2005
Lucy is a gem of a dog. She’s one of my mother-in-law’s pugs. In happier times, she was the first of the dogs in that household to greet me when I cam to visit, and she always demanded that I rub her belly. She defended the other pug of the household — a big doofus of a dog — from the evil little chihuahua (but then, I repeat myself) that they shared living spaces with. From the time the boys where old enough to crawl,she would tolerate being chased around the house, and turn to chase them in turn, tail wagging, kids squealing in joy. She would sit patiently under the uncertain petting of children who did not yet have the motor skills to be always gentle. Even when her body began to fail her, she always made time for the kids, and she always tottered out to greet me when I came over, her tail wagging her entire body, a picture in doggie grace and happiness. Our oldest gets so excited to see the “doggies” that he bounces in his car seat when we pull into Grammy’s house, saying, “Grammy’s! Doggies!” Our youngest cannot say their names, but his smile cuts is face in half when the doggies come trotting out of the kitchen.
But Lucy is old, and her body is failing her. Tomorrow, she is going to be put to sleep. My wife took the kids to see her one last time, today. I hope they remember her.
Dogs should live forever.
Categories: Doggie Bloggin', I do too have a life |
6 Comments
June 7th, 2005
Xrlq (pronounced “Jeff”), with whom I rarely agree on anything, has a post with which I agree wholeheartedly. The gist of the post concerns backlash against pit bulls as a breed, wherein people are calling for banning the breed (and having some success), even so far as confiscating and killing dogs:
“I’ll tell you what I would do: kill every pit bull in San Francisco,” a red-eyed Brennan said earlier between sobs. “I don’t like pit bulls, never have.”
As SayUncle often says, the problem isn’t bad dogs, it’s bad owners. And to this end, Xrlq has some sound advice:
- Don’t breed dogs. If you are a commercial breeder, you’re probably going to ignore this bit of advice. If you’re not, don’t. Yes, there are a few rare, exotic breeds of dogs for whom the demand exceeds the supply. Pit bulls are not among them. Too many friendly, well-socialized pits get put down every day simply because there are too many of them out there and too few families willing to adopt them. Don’t make the problem worse. We probably need a few commercial breeders, but not as many as we have. We don’t need any “backyard breeders,” i.e., random dog owners who think it’s cool to make a little money on the side by breeding their pets, at all.
- Get your dogs spayed or neutered. Part of the reason to do this is #1; we don’t need more homeless dogs. An equally important part, however, is that unneutered males are far more likely to become aggressive than neutered ones.
- Never trust your dog around a child, unattended. Unless your child is the one who trained the dog, your dog probably doesn’t see him or her as an “alpha” to be deferred to, but as an “omega” to be treated as a play toy whenever the real alpha (that would be you) is not around to keep him in line. Pit bulls are generally quite good with kids, and both of my dogs utterly fawn over Xrlq 2.0 when we’re around. I don’t know how they’d act around him if we weren’t, and frankly, I’m not interested in finding out.
- Don’t surrender your pit bull solely because he’s a pit bull. Unfortunately, a number of people in the Bay Area have done just that in response to Friday’s tragedy. Your dog can’t read, so he isn’t going to up and copy Friday’s event as human copycat killers are wont to do. If he’s been a friendly, loyal companion for the past five years, he’ll probably continue to be one for the next, assuming he lives that long. If you are concerned, have him temperament-tested. If you just can’t bear to keep your pooch after reading about someone else’s tragedy, contact a pit-friendly rescue group such as Bay Area Doglovers Responsible About Pitbulls (BAD RAP). Don’t hand him over to county “shelter” if his only known or suspected offense is being a pit bull.
- Don’t assume your dog can’t attack people just because he isn’t a pit bull. This is the flip side of #4. What happened with these dogs could have happened with dogs of any breed - and does. It doesn’t happen often with any breed, but it can and sometimes does with every breed. When in doubt, consult a trainer. A dog may be man’s best friend, but he’s also the wolf’s nearest relative. Never forget that.
I would add #6, socialize your dog(s) early and often: around other people, other dogs, and children. A dog cannot know what behavior is or is not acceptable if you never teach them, and you can’t teach them how to behave in certain situations if they’re never in those situations.
It should be noted that I’ve been around dogs of all breeds and mutts pretty much all my life. I’ve only been attacked once and bitten one other time, and neither of these incidents involved a “vicious” pit bull, rottweiler, doberman, german shepherd, or other such “bad” breed. The attack (which I still have the back scar to prove, nearly 25 years later) was by a golden retriever, widely considered to be one of the most gentle breeds around. The bite (which was actually my fault) was from a yellow lab.
H/T: SayUncle
Categories: Doggie Bloggin' |
4 Comments
April 6th, 2005
As my current dog, Buster, has gotten past one year of age, it has become apparent that we cannot give him all the exercise he requires without a little bit of help. So we decided it was time to get him a playmate. We knew we wanted to adopt a dog from a rescue this time rather than go through a breeder, but weren’t too particular about what kind of dog to get; it could have been a mutt, for all we cared, so long as Buster got along with his new pal.
After working with several rescue organizations, including the BoxAR rescue in Arkansas (beware of annoying .mid files at that link — you might want to mute your sound before clicking), and going through a thorough screening process (we were screened to determine how good our home would be for another dog), we were encouraged to take one of three boxer puppies, born Christmas day and abandoned at a shelter at just three weeks of age. (A fourth pup was also abandoned with that group, but had already found a “forever home.”)
We let Buster play with all three of the pups, as well as looking at some older rescue dogs (ages ranging from two to five), and Buster and his new companion essentially picked each other. So, without further ado, here’s Mugsy:
We brought Mugsy home on Sunday, and Buster and Mugsy haven’t stopped playing since. Buster even seems to be helping us train the pup.
Federal law requires me to also include a picture of Buster. Here, he has just enjoyed a rare treat of canned food, as evidenced by the fact that it’s still all over his face:
There’s a state law requiring me to publish photos of the two cats, but I’m pretty sure it’s unconstitutional and some “activist liberal judge” will overturn it, so I’m not going to. 
Categories: Doggie Bloggin' |
5 Comments
October 27th, 2004
OK, I admit it: I’m stumped. Much of the time, my dog just plum doesn’t listen. He’s very stubborn. He has no idea that a command is, in fact, a command, rather than just a request.
What’s frustrating is that he knows virtually all of the commands, and when he feels like it, he responds just fine. (”Heel” is a little iffy, but the rest — sit, down, come, kennel — he understands perfectly.) That he won’t reliably come when called is a big problem. But when he’s in one of his stubborn moods, nothing seems to work. He ignores treats, praise, everything. (I never scold, because if I did, he would really not want to come.)
In the interim, we’ve resorted to not letting him outside off a leash except in the mornings when he goes out to go to the bathroom, and reliably comes back in to go back to sleep. But that’s a workaround, not a correction. I’m looking for humane, long-term corrections to this behavior.
Any suggestions?
Categories: Doggie Bloggin' |
13 Comments
August 2nd, 2004
Today, my dog Buster got his first rat. My neighbors don’t take care of their property, and they have rats, and sometimes they migrate onto my property. Now they have something to fear. Good dog!
Categories: Doggie Bloggin' |
5 Comments
July 6th, 2004
During my Adventures in Milwaukeetm, I stumbled across the Metropawlis pet boutique, and saw something that I absolutely had to have: a George W. Bush chew toy. The idea of my dog tearing the hell out of W amused me, so I bought one. Never fear, those of you on the Right of the blogosphere: they’ve got a Kerry chew as well.
The good news is, according to the store owner, the Bush chews have been outselling the Kerry chews by a three-to-one ratio. Then again, this store was in an actual neighborhood, where actual people live and can actually see their neighbors’ houses. Had the store been located in, say, Johnson Creek (population: cows outnumber people by a three-to-one ratio), I suspect the sales ratio would have been reversed.
Categories: Doggie Bloggin' |
2 Comments
May 19th, 2004
A dog has been rescued alive more than a month after falling into a 30-foot-deep pit, and reunited with her family:
The Mertz brothers called the number on Shadow’s tags and told the Schwartzs their beloved pet had been found 35 days after they left it for dead.
“This tops the list - I never felt so happy before,” Stephen Schwartz said Tuesday. “I prayed that I would see her again and it happened.”
The cocker spaniel-beagle mix appears to be in good health despite losing 5 pounds, he said.
“Last night, she came up to me and started begging for food like she always did,” Schwartz said.
Hat tip: FARK.com
Categories: Doggie Bloggin' |
3 Comments
April 14th, 2004
Our boxer just turned 20 weeks old, and we’ve been working on training him in earnest. He already knows “sit” well enough, we can get him to come (although not the way we would like), and he’s doing as well as can be expected with his leash training, but there are some trouble spots where I could use some help. I know these are far from unique to me, but I’m hoping some people can give some good, humane advice on how to make progress in these areas:
- Bite inhibition: Buster is very mouthy, and although his bites are always soft, it could grow to be a problem as he gets bigger. We’ve tried scolding, with no success, and the yelp-and-turn-away trick, with only very limited success. As an aside, he likes to play wrestle games, and I’m afraid this only encourages him to play “mouthy.” Is it possible to continue roughhousing games with a dog while teaching them not to bite?
- Jumping up: What can I say? He’s a very friendly dog, and he likes to jump up on people when he meets them. Obviously, not everyone is going to see it that way. We haven’t had any success discouraging him from doing this, and when he gets to be his full 70 or 80 pounds, it’s going to be a problem. In my perfect world, he would understand that it’s only okay to jump up on people only if they crouch down and spread their arms in the “hug me” gesture, but if that’s not possible, I’d want to teach him not to do it at all.
- Heel: I have no idea where to start with this one.
- Come when called: Right now, if you call his name and crouch down he’ll come running, whether or not you say “come.” But if you call his name and say “come” and don’t crouch, it’s inconsistent. More often than not, he’ll just look at you.
- Down: He knows what it means, but he obviously hates it. Getting him to comply is like pulling teeth (which, considering he doesn’t have any right now, is very difficult).
- Eliminating hand signals: Right now, he relies heavily on hand signals or other visual signs to do what’s asked of him, and they do make getting the message across easier. But ultimately, I’d like to get him to respond to voice commands alone.
Any advice you can provide will be greatly appreciated.
Categories: Doggie Bloggin' |
5 Comments
