UPDATED: A new number five, and a new dishonorable mention.
UPDATE 2: How could I forget Babs? She makes the bottom five, relegating Here Comes Santa Claus to the dishonorable mentions. See her entry for a “bonus” surprise.
UPDATE 3: It’s that time of year again, so I’ve dusted this off from last year.
It’s that time of year, when radio stations switch to all Christmas music all the time (actually, around here, that happened two weeks before Thanksgiving). What better time to count down the worst Christmas songs of all time? I’m giving my “bottom five,” along with a couple of honorable mentions. Most are version specific, but some transcend versions and are awful no matter who sings them. As commenters remind me of other awful songs, I reserve the right to modify the list.
Here we go:
(DIS)HONORABLE MENTIONS:
- Santa Baby by Everclear: Sorry, but a guy should never, ever sing this song. I don’t care if he’s gay or not (and I don’t think the dude from Everclear is, but I could be wrong), it’s just wrong to hear a guy sing it.
- A Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney: The song’s actually not all that bad, as pop-star Christmas songs go, but years working in retail scarred me.
- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, any version: With a title like that, don’t you think the could have at least tried to make the song merry? Instead, we get a depressing dirge. Kevin says this was a World War II era song, and because the boys were overseas, the melancholy tone was intentional. But then why say “merry” at all? Isn’t melancholy what I’ll Be Home For Christmas is for?
- The Christmas Song, any version not sung by Nat King Cole: In large part because I’m a huge fan of the Cole version, the others are just wrong to me. And as a side note, how is it possible to have such a smooth voice when you smoke eight packs of cigarettes a day?
- Here Comes Santa Claus, verses 3 and 4: I don’t mind Christian Christmas songs (in fact, I like many), and I don’t mind secular songs, but when somebody bastardizes the two, and does it poorly, as in those last two verses, it’s just like a train wreck. Piecing together:
Santa knows we’re all God’s children
That makes everything right
So let’s give thanks to the Lord above
‘Cause Santa Claus comes tonight
That’s right kids! Give thanks to the Lord, not because the messiah’s born or because our eternal salvation has been enabled, but because a fat guy’s going to bring you wooden toys! Lovely message for the little ones.
THE BOTTOM FIVE:
5. Carol of the Bells, by The Trans-Siberian Orchestra: How could I forget this? Talk about something that just screams “we’re trying to be cool!” Admit it guys, you’re Savatage on steroids. I vaguely remember thinking this was cool at one time, but can’t for the life of me remember why. I just wish Metallica’s S&M had done a better job permanently destroying the idea that mixing symphony with heavy metal is ever a good idea…
November 27th, 2006
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Holiday |
121 comments
I have always been disgusted by PETA , the animal-rights group that simply can’t seem to refrain from acting like assholes. But, their weirdo tactics aside, they’re also dumb as bricks:
November 27th, 2006
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General, Politics, Culture, Holiday, Pets |
7 comments
UPDATED by tgirsch below.
Far too many people spew about what Christianity is or is not without appearing to have actually read the Bible or any o the commentaries on its translations. As a public service, we here at Lean Left will attempt to educate these poor souls. A brief FAQ:
- What qualifies you to do this? Believe it or not, tgirsch was a theology student. KTK is an ethicist, and thus has a deep understanding of Christina morals and ethics and the foundation of those morals and ethics. I have no qualifications aside from having read the thing. Which, really, is the point: this is mainly going to deal with statements about the meaning of Christianity that can only have come form someone who has not actually read the whole thing or thought much about what he/she was reading.
- Isn’t this a bit arrogant? I am sorry, did you notice this was a blog? Besides, the entire text of the Bible, numerous commentaries and its translation history/controversies are all available in English. This isn’t some esoteric branch of human knowledge, like rocket science, brain surgery, or Kremlinology.
- Why should I listen to your opinions when scholars, ministers, etc have studied these things for years? The argument is all that matters — if any of the arguments in this series are wrong, then it should be easy to find learned commentary to refute them.
Onto our first example, a relatively easy one, Mark Steyn. All emphasis mine:
“No,” agreed Bishop Kate. “It’s probably the opposite. We encourage people to pay attention to the stewardship of the earth and not use more than their portion.”
Now, that may or may not be a great idea, but it’s nothing to do with Christianity, only for eco-cultists like Al Gore.
The bolded statement is either a bald-faced lie or born of such deep ignorance about Christianity that it calls into question the writer’s ability to adhere to the actual tenets of the faith. Genesis gave man dominion over the environment, broadly speaking, but dominion does not have to mean exploitation. It is not hard to find commentary that treats dominion as a reasonability to stewardship of God’s creation. In fact, the Bible itself re-enforces this notion.
In Leviticus, Israel is told how to deal with the land:
1. The LORD then spoke to Moses at Mount Sinai, saying, 2. “Speak to the sons of Israel, and say to them, ‘When you come into the land which I shall give you, then the land shall have a Sabbath to the LORD. 3. ‘Six years you shall sow your field, and six years you shall prune your vineyard and gather in its crop, 4. but during the seventh year the land shall have a Sabbath rest, a Sabbath to the LORD; you shall not sow your field nor prune your vineyard. 5. ‘Your harvest’s aftergrowth you shall not reap, and your grapes of untrimmed vines you shall not gather; the land shall have a sabbatical year. 6. ‘And all of you shall have the Sabbath [products] of the land for food; yourself, and your male and female slaves, and your hired man and your foreign resident, those who live as aliens with you. 7. ‘Even your cattle and the animals that are in your land shall have all its crops to eat. 8. ‘You are also to count off seven sabbaths of years for yourself, seven times seven years, so that you have the time of the seven sabbaths of years, [namely], forty-nine years. 9. ‘You shall then sound a ram’s horn abroad on the tenth day of the seventh month; on the day of atonement you shall sound a horn all through your land. 10. ‘You shall thus consecrate the fiftieth year and proclaim a release through the land to all its inhabitants. It shall be a jubilee for you, and each of you shall return to his own property, and each of you shall return to his family. 11. ‘You shall have the fiftieth year as a jubilee; you shall not sow, nor reap its aftergrowth, nor gather in [from] its untrimmed vines. 12. ‘For it is a jubilee; it shall be holy to you. You shall eat its crops out of the field.
In Isaiah, God judges those who misuse the land:
8. Woe to those who add house to house [and] join field to field, Until there is no more room, So that you have to live alone in the midst of the land! 9. In my ears the LORD of hosts [has sworn], “Surely, many houses shall become desolate, [Even] great and fine ones, without occupants. 10. “For ten acres of vineyard will yield [only] one bath [of wine], And a homer of seed will yield [but] an ephah of grain.”
Jesus himself speaks of His Father’s love for all of His creation:
26. “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and [yet] your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? Mat 10:29. “Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And [yet] not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.
And those are just the obvious parts. Galatians commands us to treat all men kindly. Is it kind to poison the air that your neighbor breathes, to delete the fish that feeds them, to heat the plant to the point that glaciers melt and flood his country? No, anyone with even a passing knowledge of the Bible knows that God cares for all of his creation and that man’s dominion over it is a responsibility. One could argue about the relative importance of such stewardship, but no one who knows anything at all about Christianity could claim that the responsible stewardship of God’s creation — environmentalism — has “nothing to do with Christianity”. Anyone who does is a liar or an ignorant fool.
Link via LGM and Tbogg.
UPDATE [tgirsch]: A much more thorough scriptural case for environmentalism is given here. While many Christians (and in particular, the conservative variety) are likely to disagree with much of it, I think it’s more than sufficient to debunk Steyn’s argument that environmentalism has “nothing to do with Christianity.”
November 27th, 2006
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General, Religion, Read Your Bible |
24 comments
This last week, I was on vacation, vivsiting relatives. I was away from my normal means of news gathering — the internet — for that entire week. Without the internet, I was comletely clueless about current events. My folks don’t get a newspaper delivered, but I did glance at the local paper once or twice. It was awful — completely sensationalized and completely without context. Spending the holiday weekend around children meant that news gathering on CNN or MSNBC was hit or miss. Even when I did turn them on for a bit to catch up, they were almost as useless as the local newspaper: no context, trivial stories, dueling talking heads calling each other liar without any sense of what was truth and what was spin, obvious logical problems being glossed over, and trite sounding cliches tossed around as revealed wisdom. In a literal sense, even for people who care, if you get your news primarily from local newspapers or national television, it is extremely difficult to be a well informed citizen.
I am not entirely sure what to do about it, but that right ther eis the core of so many of the problems in this country. You cannot run a democracy if the voters do not have a clear understanding of reality. And the voters cannot have a clear understanding of reality with a news culture as sick and useless as most of ours.
November 27th, 2006
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Culture, Media |
3 comments
